Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others.
- Groucho Marx
Author Archive for Dehumanizer
I cannot be caged! I cannot be controlled! Understand this as you die, ever pathetic, ever fools!
- Jon Irenicus, Baldur’s Gate 2: Shadows of Amn
“Then it is settled,” intoned Orlon. “Frito Bugger shall keep the Ring.”
“Bugger?” said Legolam. “Bugger? That’s curious. There was a nasty little clown named Goddam sniffing around Weldwood on hands and knees looking for a Mr. Bugger. It was a little queer.”
“Odd,” said Gimlet. “A pack of black giants riding huge pigs came through the mountains last month hunting for a boggie named Bugger. Never gave it a second thought.”
“This, too, is grave,” declared Orlon. “It is only a matter of time before they come here,” he said, pulling a shawl over his head and making a gesture of throwing something of a conciliatory nature to a shark, “and as neutrals, we would have no choice…”
Frito shuddered.
- Bored of the Rings, Harvard Lampoon
Max: Ooh, I love shaving!
Sam: That’s funny, I’ve never seen you shave.
Max: I didn’t mean myself.
- Sam & Max: Situation: Comedy
Zen And The Art Of Going To The Lavatory
Published by 1 year, 7 months ago in Books and Novelists. 0 CommentsRelax mind
Relax body
Relax bowels
Relax.
Do not fall over.
You are a cloud.
You are raining.
Do not rain
While train
Is standing at a station.
Move with the wind.
Apologise where necessary.
- Zen And The Art Of Going To The Lavatory, Grunthos the Flatulent, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams
There’s only one way to find out if a man is honest…ask him. If he says ‘yes,’ you know he is a crook.
- Groucho Marx
[Looking at an evil-looking “RELAX” sign with snakes and skulls around it]
Sam: That must be the least relaxing sign I’ve ever seen.
Max: What about the one in the barber shop that says “Low fatality rate”?
Sam: I stand corrected.
- Sam & Max: Culture Shock
Silence, dog. You have no purpose but to die by my hand.
- Jon Irenicus, Baldur’s Gate 2: Shadows of Amn
I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
- Groucho Marx
“What proof is there that this is the Ring?” asked the man with the pointed shoes.
“There are many signs which can be read by the wise, Bromosel,” announced the Wizard. “The compass, the whistle, the magic decoder–they’re all here. And here is the inscription:
“Grundig blaupunkt luger frug
Watusi snarf wazoo!
Nixon dirksen nasahist
Reboso boogaloo.”Goodgulf’s voice had become harsh and distant. An ominous black cloud filled the room. Frito gagged on the thick oily smoke.
“Was that necessary?” asked Legolam, kicking the Wizard’s still-belching smoke grenade out the door.
“Rings go better with hocus-pocus,” replied Goodgulf imperiously.
- Bored of the Rings, Harvard Lampoon
We’ve tended in our cosmologies to make things familiar. Despite all our best efforts, we’ve not been very inventive. In the West, Heaven is placid and fluffy, and Hell is like the inside of a volcano. In many stories, both realms are governed by dominance hierarchies headed by gods or devils. Monotheists talked about the king of kings. In every culture we imagined something like our own political system running the Universe. Few found the similarity suspicious.
- Carl Sagan, Pale Blue Dot
When I need to find something out, I just go out and find somebody that knows more than me, and I go and I ask them. Sometimes I ask pretty hard.
- Marv, Sin City, Frank Miller
How do you feel about women’s rights ? I like either side of them.
- Groucho Marx
If only this wasn’t unfashionable these days…
Published by 1 year, 7 months ago in Books, Novelists and Philosophers. 0 CommentsIf any part of your uncertainty is a conflict between your heart and your mind — follow your mind.
- John Galt, Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand
God: You can’t look to a higher being to find a purpose in life. You won’t get an answer from any so-called “holy” book. And no priest, pastor, rabbi, imam, guru, cult leader, celebrity, athlete, or comic book writer has it.
Howard the Duck: What does that leave — sanitation workers?
God: It leaves those creatures who are willing and able to examine themselves and the world around them. In other words, ducko… you have to find your own little bit of grace.
- Howard the Duck #6 (MAX), Steve Gerber
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