Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
Author Archive for Dehumanizer
You shall all be as ants before my grace, though slightly larger ants than the norm if you help me.
- Tiax, Baldur’s Gate
“Gimlet, son of Groin, your obedient servant,” said the dwarf, bowing to reveal a hunchback. “May you always buy cheap and sell dear.”
“Frito, son of Dildo, yours,” said Frito in some confusion, racking his brains for the correct reply. “May your hemorroids shrink without surgery.”
- Bored of the Rings, Harvard Lampoon
Let us fly away, let us praise the days
When the lust for the life is stronger than the fear
Though we shiver and shake and we sometimes need a break
It’s the lust for life that never disappears.
- Gamma Ray, Lust for Life
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.
- Groucho Marx
Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason why so few engage in it.
- Henry Ford
Ode To A Small Lump Of Green Putty I Found In My Armpit One Midsummer Morning
Published by 1 year, 10 months ago in Books and Novelists. 0 CommentsPutty. Putty. Putty.
Green Putty - Grutty Peen.
Grarmpitutty - Morning!
Pridsummer - Grorning Utty!
Discovery….. Oh.
Putty?….. Armpit?
Armpit….. Putty.
Not even a particularly
Nice shade of green.
- Ode To A Small Lump Of Green Putty I Found In My Armpit One Midsummer Morning, Grunthos the Flatulent, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
- Groucho Marx
Hi, I’m Well-Adjusted Al, and my prices are sensible. I used to be called Crazy Al, but therapy has convinced me that selling plate armour for 3 gold pieces and a small duck was no way to get ahead in business.
Well-Adjusted Al, Baldur’s Gate
And I wouldn’t have to put up with their relentless defamation of my character, either. Think about it! On the one hand they say I’m all-powerful and all-knowing — and on the other, that I’m so insecure I’m in need of constant praise to keep from venting my wrath! I ask you! Does that sound like the description of a just and merciful god — OR A SOCIOPATH?!
- God, Howard the Duck #6 (MAX), Steve Gerber
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
- Groucho Marx
“Is there no hope?” gasped Frito. “Is nowhere safe?”
“Who can know?” said Goodgulf, and a shadow seemed to pass over his face. “I would say more,” he said, “but a shadow seems to have passed over my face,” and with that he fell strangely silent.
- Bored of the Rings, Harvard Lampoon
Anything you don’t understand, Mr. Rankin, you attribute to God. God for you is where you sweep away all the mysteries of the world, all the challenges to our intelligence. You simply turn your mind off and say God did it.
- Ellie Arroway, Contact, Carl Sagan
And do the cooking, besides
Published by 1 year, 11 months ago in Books, Novelists and Philosophers. 0 CommentsI quit, because I didn’t wish to serve as the cannibals’ meal and to do the cooking, besides.
- Ellis Wyatt, Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand
I love hitmen. No matter what you do to them, you don’t feel bad.
- Marv, Sin City, Frank Miller
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