Published by Dehumanizer 1 year ago
in Books.
I seek not beyond death. It may be the blackness averred by the Nemedian skeptics, or Crom’s realm of ice and cloud, or the snowy plains and vaulted halls of the Nordheimer’s Valhalla. I know not, nor do I care. Let me live deep while I live; let me know the rich juices of red meat and stinging wine on my palate, the hot embrace of white arms, the mad exultation of battle when the blue blades flame and crimson, and I am content. Let teachers and priests and philosophers brood over questions of reality and illusion. I know this: if life is an illusion, then I am no less an illusion, and being thus, the illusion is real to me. I live, I burn with life, I love, I slay, and am content.
- Conan of Cimmeria, Queen of the Black Coast, Robert E. Howard
Published by Dehumanizer 1 year, 2 months ago
in Books, Novelists and Philosophers.
I accepted their insults, their frauds, their extortions. I thought I could afford to ignore them — all those impotent mystics who prattle about their souls and are unable to build a roof over their heads. I thought that the world was mine, and that those jabbering incompetents were no threat to my strength. I could not understand why I kept losing every battle. I did not know that the force unleashed against me was my own. While I was busy conquering matter, I had surrendered to them the realm of the mind, of thought, of principle, of laws, of values, of morality.
- Hank Rearden, Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand
Published by Dehumanizer 1 year, 2 months ago
in Books.
Insult not the White Wizard, for I have many powers. Here, pick a card. Any card.
- Goodgulf Grayteeth, Bored of the Rings, Harvard Lampoon
Published by Dehumanizer 1 year, 3 months ago
in Books, Novelists and Philosophers.
Cherryl Brooks: There’s something I want you to know, so that there won’t be any pretending about it. I’m not going to put on the sweet relative act. I know what you’ve done to Jim and how you’ve made him miserable all his life. I’m going to protect him against you. I’ll put you in your place. I’m Mrs. Taggart. I’m the woman in this family now.
Dagny Taggart: That’s quite all right. I’m the man.
- Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged
Published by Dehumanizer 1 year, 3 months ago
in Books.
“Welcome to Lornadoon,” said Lavalier, rising slowly to her feet, and it seemed to the company that she was as fair as a young sapling or scrub oak. She had magnificent chestnut hair, and when she shook her head, handfuls of magnificent chestnuts dropped to the floor like rain. Frito toyed with the Ring and wondered at her great beauty.
“I see, Frito,” she said, “that as you toy with the Ring, you wonder at my great beauty.”
- Bored of the Rings, Harvard Lampoon
Published by Dehumanizer 1 year, 3 months ago
in Books.
…”This is an evil place, I fear,” said Arrowroot, slipping on the sticky black paint which covered every inch of the land.
“It is the Black Valley,” said Goodgulf solemnly.
“Are we in Fordor already?” asked Frito hopefully.
“Do not mention that black land in this black land,” said the Wizard darkly.
- Bored of the Rings, Harvard Lampoon
Published by Dehumanizer 1 year, 3 months ago
in Books, Novelists and Philosophers.
I mean, we’re only human beings, and what’s a human being? A weak, ugly, sinful creature, born that way, rotten in his bones—so humility is the one virtue he ought to practice. He ought to spend his life on his knees, begging to be forgiven for his dirty existence.
- James Taggart, Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand
Published by Dehumanizer 1 year, 3 months ago
in Books.
“That leaves only Fordor,” said Orlon. “But even a retarded troll would not go there.”
“Even a dwarf,” admitted Legolam.
Frito suddenly felt that all eyes were on him.
“Couldn’t we just drop it down a storm drain, or pawn it and swallow the ticket?” he said.
“Alas,” said Goodgulf solemnly, “It is not that easy.”
“But why?”
“Alas,” explained Goodgulf.
- Bored of the Rings, Harvard Lampoon
Published by Dehumanizer 1 year, 3 months ago
in Books.
“Then it is settled,” intoned Orlon. “Frito Bugger shall keep the Ring.”
“Bugger?” said Legolam. “Bugger? That’s curious. There was a nasty little clown named Goddam sniffing around Weldwood on hands and knees looking for a Mr. Bugger. It was a little queer.”
“Odd,” said Gimlet. “A pack of black giants riding huge pigs came through the mountains last month hunting for a boggie named Bugger. Never gave it a second thought.”
“This, too, is grave,” declared Orlon. “It is only a matter of time before they come here,” he said, pulling a shawl over his head and making a gesture of throwing something of a conciliatory nature to a shark, “and as neutrals, we would have no choice…”
Frito shuddered.
- Bored of the Rings, Harvard Lampoon
Published by Dehumanizer 1 year, 3 months ago
in Books and Novelists.
Relax mind
Relax body
Relax bowels
Relax.
Do not fall over.
You are a cloud.
You are raining.
Do not rain
While train
Is standing at a station.
Move with the wind.
Apologise where necessary.
- Zen And The Art Of Going To The Lavatory, Grunthos the Flatulent, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams
Published by Dehumanizer 1 year, 4 months ago
in Books.
“What proof is there that this is the Ring?” asked the man with the pointed shoes.
“There are many signs which can be read by the wise, Bromosel,” announced the Wizard. “The compass, the whistle, the magic decoder–they’re all here. And here is the inscription:
“Grundig blaupunkt luger frug
Watusi snarf wazoo!
Nixon dirksen nasahist
Reboso boogaloo.”
Goodgulf’s voice had become harsh and distant. An ominous black cloud filled the room. Frito gagged on the thick oily smoke.
“Was that necessary?” asked Legolam, kicking the Wizard’s still-belching smoke grenade out the door.
“Rings go better with hocus-pocus,” replied Goodgulf imperiously.
- Bored of the Rings, Harvard Lampoon
Published by Dehumanizer 1 year, 4 months ago
in Books, Novelists and Philosophers.
If any part of your uncertainty is a conflict between your heart and your mind — follow your mind.
- John Galt, Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand
Published by Dehumanizer 1 year, 4 months ago
in Books.
“Gimlet, son of Groin, your obedient servant,” said the dwarf, bowing to reveal a hunchback. “May you always buy cheap and sell dear.”
“Frito, son of Dildo, yours,” said Frito in some confusion, racking his brains for the correct reply. “May your hemorroids shrink without surgery.”
- Bored of the Rings, Harvard Lampoon
Published by Dehumanizer 1 year, 4 months ago
in Books and Novelists.
Putty. Putty. Putty.
Green Putty - Grutty Peen.
Grarmpitutty - Morning!
Pridsummer - Grorning Utty!
Discovery….. Oh.
Putty?….. Armpit?
Armpit….. Putty.
Not even a particularly
Nice shade of green.
- Ode To A Small Lump Of Green Putty I Found In My Armpit One Midsummer Morning, Grunthos the Flatulent, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams
Published by Dehumanizer 1 year, 4 months ago
in Books.
“Is there no hope?” gasped Frito. “Is nowhere safe?”
“Who can know?” said Goodgulf, and a shadow seemed to pass over his face. “I would say more,” he said, “but a shadow seems to have passed over my face,” and with that he fell strangely silent.
- Bored of the Rings, Harvard Lampoon
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