The first ten million years were the worst. And the second ten million, they were the worst, too. The third ten million I didn’t enjoy at all. After that, I went into a bit of a decline.
- Marvin, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams
Archive for the 'Books' Category
Oh uncool bush! Unloose this passle
Of furry cats that you hassle!
Tho’ by speed my brain’s destroyed,
I’m not half this paranoid!
So cease this bummer, down the freak-out,
Let caps and joints cause brains to leak out!
These cats are groovy here among us,
So leave ‘em be, you up-tight fungus!
- Tim Benzedrine, Bored of the Rings, Harvard Lampoon
Pure evil: "for the sake of the little people"
Published by 1 year, 8 months ago in Books, Novelists and Philosophers. 0 CommentsTo hell with them! Why should we worry about them? We’ve got to run the world for the sake of the little people. It’s intelligence that’s caused all the troubles of humanity. Man’s mind is the root of all evil. This is the day of the heart. It’s the weak, the meek, the sick and the humble that must be the only objects of our concern.
Those who’re big are here to serve those who aren’t. If they refuse to do their moral duty, we’ve got to force them. There once was an Age of Reason, but we’ve progressed beyond it. This is the Age of Love.
- Eugene Lawson, Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand
Keeping your soul
Published by 1 year, 8 months ago in Books, Novelists and Philosophers. 0 CommentsTo sell your soul is the easiest thing in the world. That’s what everybody does every hour of his life. If I asked you to keep your soul - would you understand why that is much harder?
- Howard Roark, The Fountainhead, Ayn Rand
“Let’s go, let’s go!” cried Moxie. “Yes, let’s,” added Pepsi, who promptly took one step, fell directly on his flat head, and managed to bloody his nose. “Icky!” laughed Moxie. “Double icky!” wailed Pepsi.
Frito rolled his eyes heavenward. It was going to be a long epic…
- Bored of the Rings, Harvard Lampoon
The source of sexual attraction
Published by 1 year, 8 months ago in Books, Novelists and Philosophers. 0 CommentsThe men who think that wealth comes from material resources and has no intellectual root or meaning, are the same men who think — for the same reason — that sex is a physical capacity which functions independently of one’s mind, choices or code of values. They think that your body creates a desire and makes a choice for you — just about in some such way as if iron ore transformed itself into railroad rails of its own volition. Love is blind, they say; sex is impervious to reason and mocks the power of all philosophers. But, in fact, a man’s sexual choice is the result and the sum of his fundamental convictions. Tell me what a man finds sexually attractive and I will tell you his entire philosophy of life.
- Francisco d’Anconia, Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand
This Ring, no other, is made by the elves,
Who’d pawn their own mother to grab it themselves.
Ruler of creeper, mortal and scallop,
This is a sleeper that packs quite a wallop.
The Power almighty rests in this Lone Ring.
The Power, alrighty, for doing your Own Thing.
If broken or busted, it cannot be remade.
If found, send to Sorhed (the postage is prepaid).
- Bored of the Rings, Harvard Lampoon
Thinking to get at once all the gold the goose could give, he killed it and opened it only to find - nothing.
- Aesop, The Goose with the Golden Eggs
“We must keep him from the one thing that can mean victory,” said Goodgulf. “We must keep from him the Great Ring!” “And what is this ring?” said Frito, eyeing the possible exits from the hole. “Cease thy eyeing of possible exits and I will tell thee,” Goodgulf reprimanded the frightened boggie.
- Bored of the Rings, Harvard Lampoon
Selfishness: what a real compliment is like
Published by 1 year, 9 months ago in Books, Novelists and Philosophers. 0 CommentsAnd so I didn’t come here to do you a favor or because I felt sorry for you or because you need a job pretty badly. I came for a simple, selfish reason — the same reason that makes a man choose the cleanest food he can find. It’s a law of survival, isn’t it? — to seek the best. I didn’t come for your sake. I came for mine.
- Howard Roark, The Fountainhead, Ayn Rand
And when the hourglass has run out, the hourglass of temporality, when the noise of secular life has grown silent and its restless or ineffectual activism has come to an end, when everything around you is still, as it is in eternity, then eternity asks you and every individual in these millions and millions about only one thing: whether you have lived in despair or not.
- Soren Kierkegaard, The Sickness Unto Death
Pure evil: the insistence on always doing right as "vanity"
Published by 1 year, 9 months ago in Books, Novelists and Philosophers. 0 CommentsThat’s the conceit I’m talking about — the idea that it matters who’s right or wrong. It’s the most insufferable form of vanity, this insistence on always doing right. How do you know what’s right? How can anyone ever know it? It’s nothing but a delusion to flatter your own ego and to hurt other people by flaunting your superiority over them.
- Lillian Rearden, Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand
Did I say something wrong? Sorry, pardon me for breathing which I never do anyway so I don’t know why I bother to say it. Oh, God, I’m so depressed!
- Marvin, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams
A moral commandment
Published by 1 year, 9 months ago in Books, Novelists and Philosophers. 0 CommentsIf I were to speak your kind of language, I would say that man’s only moral commandment is: Thou shalt think. But a moral commandment is a contradiction in terms. The moral is the chosen, not the forced; the understood, not the obeyed.
- John Galt, Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand
We boggies are a hairy folk
Who like to eat until we choke.
Loving all like friend and brother,
And hardly ever eat each other.Ever hungry, ever thirsting.
Never stop till belly’s bursting.
Chewing chop and pork and muttons,
A merry race of boring gluttons.Sing: Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble,
Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble.Boggies gather round the table,
Eat as much as you are able.
Gorge yourselves from moon till noon
(Don’t forget your plate and spoon).Anything edible, we’ve got dibs on,
And hope we all die with our bibs on.
Ever gay, we’ll never grow up,
Come! And sing and play and throw-up!Sing: Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble,
Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble.
- Bored of the Rings, Harvard Lampoon
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