Chocolate is a serious thing.
- Deanna Troi, Star Trek: The Next Generation
Archive for the 'TV series' Category
Hello, operator, gimme the number for 911!
- Homer Simpson, The Simpsons
And I for one welcome our new insect overlords
Published by 1 year, 7 months ago in TV series. 0 CommentsLadies and gentlemen, uh, we’ve just lost the picture, but what we’ve seen speaks for itself. The Corvair spacecraft has apparently been taken over - ‘conquered’ if you will - by a master race of giant space ants. It’s difficult to tell from this vantage point whether they will consume the captive earth men or merely enslave them. One thing is for certain; there is no stopping them; the ants will soon be here. And I for one welcome our new insect overlords. I’d like to remind them that as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.
- Kent Brockman, The Simpsons
Homer’s wisdom: picking the wrong religion
Published by 1 year, 7 months ago in TV series. 0 CommentsAnd what if we’ve picked the wrong religion? Every week, we’re just making God madder and madder!
- Homer Simpson, The Simpsons
Dating is like a job interview
Published by 1 year, 8 months ago in Artists and TV series. 0 CommentsDating is pressure and tension. What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night? The only difference between a date and a job interview is that in not many job interviews is there a chance you’ll end up naked at the end of it. “Well, Bill, the boss thinks you’re the man for the job. Why don’t you strip down and meet some of the people you’ll be working with?
- Jerry Seinfeld
What’s the point of dating without games? How do you know if you’re winning or losing?
- Jerry Seinfeld, The Couch
- If we should happen to tread on a mine, what do we do?
- Well, normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet into the air and scatter yourself over a wide area.
- George & Blackadder, Blackadder
I used to think that it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn’t it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe.
- Marcus Cole, Babylon 5
And by the end of tonight, I want that dining table so clean I can eat my dinner off it.
- Blackadder, Blackadder
It’s not pining, it’s passed on. This parrot is no more. It has ceased to be. It’s expired and gone to meet its maker. This is a late parrot. It’s a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. If you hadn’t nailed it to the perch, it would be pushing up the daisies. Its metabolic processes are now history! He’s off the twig! He’s kicked the bucket, he’s shuffled off his mortal coil, rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible! This… is an ex-parrot!
Eric Praline, Monty Python’s Flying Circus
I don’t see a point in the theatre. All that sex and violence. I get enough of that at home. Except for the sex, of course.
- Baldrick, Blackadder
"My shoes are too tight, and I have forgotten how to dance."
Published by 1 year, 8 months ago in TV series. 0 CommentsSomething my father said. He was old, very old at the time. I went into his room, and he was sitting alone in the dark, crying. So I asked him what was wrong, and he said, “My shoes are too tight, but it doesn’t matter, because I have forgotten how to dance.” I never understood what that meant until now. My shoes are too tight, and I have forgotten how to dance.
- Londo Mollari, Babylon 5
They do say, Mrs M, that verbal insults hurt more than physical pain. They are, of course, wrong, as you will soon discover when I stick this toasting fork in your head.
- Blackadder
If I take a lamp and shine toward the wall, a bright spot will appear on the wall. The lamp is our search for truth, for understanding. Too often we assume the light on the wall is God, but the light is not the goal of the search, it is the result of the search. The more intense the search, the brighter the light on the wall. The brighter the light on the wall, the greater the revelation upon seeing it. Similarly, someone who does not search, who does not bring a lantern with him, sees nothing. What we perceive as God is the by-product of our search for God. It may simply be an appreciation of the light, pure and unblemished. Not understanding that it comes from us, sometimes, we stand in front of the light and assume we are the center of the universe. God looks astonishingly like we do. Or we turn to look at our shadow and assume all is darkness. If we allow ourselves to get in the way, we defeat the purpose - which is use the light of our search to illuminate the wall in all its beauty and all it flaws, and in so doing, better understand the world around us.
- G’Kar, Babylon 5
What teachers should say to students in the first class
Published by 1 year, 8 months ago in TV series. 0 CommentsMy name is Edmund Blackadder, and I’m the new Minister in Charge of Religious Genocide. Now, if you play straight with me, you’ll find me a considerate employer. But cross me and you’ll soon discover that under this playful boyish exterior, beats the heart of a ruthless, sadistic maniac.
- Blackadder
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