Player: You have something we want… a Finger of Sartek.
Minotaur chief: All you will get from us is a cold axeblade between your eyes!
Player: I didn’t think you would give it up without a fight.
Minotaur chief: We are Minotaurs. We do NOTHING without a fight!
– Warlords Battlecry III
Sam: What do you think of the White House, Max?
Max: There aren’t nearly as many roller coasters as you’ve led me to believe, Sam.
- Sam & Max: Abe Lincoln Must Die
Filled to the brim with darkness deeper than night, with bitterness hotter than the depths of hell - that’s coffee.
- Godot, Gyakuten Saiban 3
Sam: Max almost lost a finger in a fan like that once.
Max: Yeah, but it wasn’t my own finger.
- Sam & Max (new series)
Don’t smoke, kids. Unless you’re on fire. Then it’s only natural.
- Max, Sam & Max: The Mole, the Mob and the Meatball
My job? Taking care of crazies like you. Making sure you don’t go and hurt yourselves with your deviant powers. And cookies, I make cookies.
- Lonk the Sane, Baldur’s Gate 2: Shadows of Amn
Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Give a man a sword and he can feast on the meaty marrow of evil!
- Minsc, Baldur’s Gate 2: Shadows of Amn
Jump on my sword while you can, evil! I won’t be as gentle!
- Minsc, Baldur’s Gate 2: Shadows of Amn
Swords, not words!
- Minsc, Baldur’s Gate 2: Shadows of Amn
I cannot be caged! I cannot be controlled! Understand this as you die, ever pathetic, ever fools!
- Jon Irenicus, Baldur’s Gate 2: Shadows of Amn
Max: Ooh, I love shaving!
Sam: That’s funny, I’ve never seen you shave.
Max: I didn’t mean myself.
- Sam & Max: Situation: Comedy
[Looking at an evil-looking “RELAX” sign with snakes and skulls around it]
Sam: That must be the least relaxing sign I’ve ever seen.
Max: What about the one in the barber shop that says “Low fatality rate”?
Sam: I stand corrected.
- Sam & Max: Culture Shock
Silence, dog. You have no purpose but to die by my hand.
- Jon Irenicus, Baldur’s Gate 2: Shadows of Amn
You shall all be as ants before my grace, though slightly larger ants than the norm if you help me.
- Tiax, Baldur’s Gate
Hi, I’m Well-Adjusted Al, and my prices are sensible. I used to be called Crazy Al, but therapy has convinced me that selling plate armour for 3 gold pieces and a small duck was no way to get ahead in business.
Well-Adjusted Al, Baldur’s Gate
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